Who did you want to be before the world told you who you should be?
In the last post I talked about perfection and considered whether it was a myth or reality, concluding that at any given point in time we are each perfect for that moment. Today I briefly help you to explore the perfection that is within you.
The Tyranny of Expectations
How many of these messages can you relate to? Which of them have shaped the way you view and live your life today?
“Be a good little child and pick up your toys.”
“Be a good little child and sit here and be quiet while mom and Dad have an adult conversation.”
“Be a good child and get straight A’s”
“Be a good child go to college.”
“Be a good adult and get a 9-5 job.”
“Be a good adult and play house like everyone else.”
These are all societal standards, measures and expectations that drive the social conditioning machine. The result is that most of us go through life living in the confines of the expectations of everyone except we ourselves. We measure ourselves against these standards and fail to look within to find who we are in and of ourselves.
So tell me, Who really are you?
What do you stand for? What are your drivers – your core values? What are your passions and interests? What are your quirks?
It took me an undesirable event that forced me to confront myself and decide what I will stand for to make me aware of the need for self awareness and self definition. In those very trying years, I was alone and frequently recalled discussions had about integrity in times past where I had said I will fight to defend my integrity. In my mind’s eye when I had said those words, it was to be a purely physical fight. What I didn’t know then is that I will be forced to fight a much more arduous battle to defend my integrity and what I stood for, and against some with whom that discussion was had.
Face Off -Masks Away
I was 25 when the battle began and it forced me to grow may years beyond its 3 year duration. I had to assess myself and define me – my beliefs, values, passions and drivers. It was only during my coaching qualification that I realised I had then, in the crook of my life’s biggest challenge, elicited my core values. The things worth fighting for, because without them I simply would cease to be me: Integrity, Family, Courage, Determination, Resilience, Passion, Justice, Self-definition, Simplicity and FAITH.
Give yourself some of your most valuable asset – your time. Face off with you and commit to peeling away the layers of social conditioning by first asking yourself this question:
Are you living a life of your choosing?
Chances are you have placed too much weight on the expectations of society, your mother, your father, your spouse, your friends and are living in zombie mode, watch your life pass by while you live one you would never chose for YOU. What masks must you peel off to break free of the tendency to conform?
You’ve probably done everything you thought was the right thing in every area of life and yet you are unfulfilled – with so much still lacking in your life. Are you ready to break free of these moulds and masks of conformity to find YOU – to rediscover who you were before the world told you who you should be?
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