Can you fight or win a battle unless you know the enemy?
Can you get to a destination without taking stock of your current location?
The answer is simply “No”. This is exactly the same reason driving the need for self awareness when it comes to fear.
As we have discussed, fear hold us back. Not only does it imprison, it also clouds our vision. If you would have met me 10 years ago this time, I would have been unrecognizable on every level compared to the person I have grown to become.
My Run-in With Failure
You see my world had come tumbling down. Seven years had passed since one week after turning 19, I left my parents’ home to carve a path for myself in the world and traveled to a new land.
The career I had chosen had come to an abrupt end; I was living thousands of miles of way from my daughter with no real support network to speak of, I was missing her dreadfully and battling with depression. I was lost with absolutely no idea what my life was about or what I was going to do with it.
Being afraid never crossed my mind. What I do remember is thinking how my mother had overcome so much during her life and wondering how she did it. It took me 5 years to get reacquainted with, accept and love myself unconditionally after failing in what for me was the most epic way. For those 5 years I was in the prison of fear. For those five years I didn’t do much living because I was too afraid to fail again. I was imprisoned by the Fear of Failure, one of the three most common fears. The other two being the fear of not being good enough and the fear of not being accepted.
The Fear of Failure
This is the most common fear. It keeps us from fulfilling our God-given potential and living to the best version of who we can become.
Consider what failure really is and determine whether it wields any power. You will find that it should wield no power in your life as all it boils down to making mistakes. Mistakes are not only things that we can survive, they can prove invaluable sources of learning, helping us grow into higher versions of ourselves.
So what if you make a mistake with a business attempt? What if you don’t ace the job interview? It’s not going to cost you your life? Is it?
Fear of failure is really a reluctance to accept and embrace mistakes because of social conditioning about failure and mistakes.
This fear is irrational. Living within its confines and rejecting the possibility of making mistakes makes people reluctant to getting the opinions of others. Hence more mistakes are made or go unnoticed, which in turn feeds insecurities and lead to further poor choices, decisions and outcomes.
The Value of Failure
What you fear is FAILURE not MISTAKES and it in differentiating the two that you will eventually break free from the fear of failure.
Failure lies not in making mistakes.
Instead, it lies in not making the best use of our mistakes: it lies in quitting when you fail; it lies in not learning the lessons that will make you be and do better next time; it lies in refusing to get back up when you fall.
Do you avoid taking actions because you are unsure of the outcome?
Do you get completely knocked when things don’t go to plan?
Do you constantly change your direction when you fail to meet your goals?
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