Self-worth: You Define

Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy. 

– Wayne Dyer

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Who Do You Say You Are?

We  talked about who you wanted to be before the world told you who you are in our previous post.  Today, we ask tough questions about you and your perception of who you are.  

Where does your self-worth come from?

What really is self worth?  The oxford dictionary defines self-worth as another word for self-esteem.  For me the two are distinct and apply at different levels of life.

Self-worth is about being and is linked to your sense of identity on a more spiritual level.  It is the value, importance and worth you attribute to who believe you are. It derives from the sense you have of your worthiness to be here in this life at this moment and dictates what you believe you deserve.

Does what you believe you deserve come from within or does it come the standards and expectations of others?

The best way to avoid falling prey to the opinions of others is to realize that other people’s opinions are just that – opinions. Regardless of how great or terrible they think you are, that’s only their opinion. Your true self-worth comes from within. 

– Travis Bradberry

Do you attribute the societal measure of self-esteem?

We will explore self-esteem and potential negative implications it may well have on the subconscious mind in a future post.  Today I explain how I see it in relation to self-worth.

Self-esteem is more about doing.  It is essentially your image of your abilities and the things you do as well as the associated feelings you have about these things.  Based on the values and beliefs you chose to orientate your life around, it is within your control so there is a copious amount of information about improving your self-esteem.  Next week we consider whether this is the answer to when what is being sought is more than a boost of the ego and its impact on self-worth.

You can’t compare an apple to an orange. It will cause a lot of self-esteem issues. 

– Craig Sheffer

Are you and your life in congruence?

Consider in this given moment that you are reading this whether you feel centred, at ease and complete or off-centre, anxious and incomplete.

The result of this consideration will tell you whether there is congruence between you, your sense of self worth and your life as you are living it.  Accept your self.  Then accept that you have strengths and weaknesses, good and bad habits and behaviours without attributing it to your self in order to maintain your self-worth regardless to the external circumstances. 

Check out the exercise below and see where you are.


You are where you are and you have the choice of entering into the second-act of your life. You’ll know you’re at this point when what you’re craving is a much easier time of it – being. You’d love to have things come to you – vs. always feeling like you need go out and chase them down. In other words, chasing is the road to “burnt-out” and being is the road to “lit-up”!

For the next seven days commit to observing the people around you and tune-into the energy that they are giving-off – and projecting out.

In your observations, simply ask yourself: Are these people grounded in true self-confidence and a solid knowing in who they are, why they’re here, and where they’re destined to go? Are they calm, serene, and definite about their actions and decisions?

Or, are they trapped by the requirement to run around frantically wondering what they need to be working on, what needs to be proved, what will make them feel better, safer, and more secure? Are they more focused on avoiding punishment and seeking some sort of reward as opposed to enjoying the journey?

Document your observations at the end of each day and at the end of the seven days find yourself in a place where it’s safe to do so, close your eyes in reflection and simply tune-into what energy you see as more attractive.

What energy is more in-line with you and who you want to be in your everyday life? What energy and way of being is bound to create a life-long feeling of worthiness and success vs. one of fleeting success that never feels like enough?

I think you’ll see very clearly how an investment in knowing who you really are – and how deserving you already are – goes a much longer way – than feeling like you’re never enough and never will be.

And, as you invest into knowing who you really are, and come to approach life and your work from that place, you’ll soon see which energy allows you stand tall – and to stand-out – and which energy keeps you stuck on the treadmill like everybody else.

One last question, does your heart pull you towards being considered ‘normal’, and just like everybody else on that treadmill – or is it pulling you towards experiencing extraordinary on your terms? The choice is always yours to follow your heart or not. Choose wisely!

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

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